Till Minor Problems Do Us Part

Ben and I took a trip this morning to get Kristen's birthday breakfast. She may go into more detail on her blog about that. I was listening to the radio on the way home, and one morning talk show had a man who had just released his new book. The book is one revolving around how to save your troubled marriage. His plan is to cheat to save your marriage. That seemed a bit off to me, and to most of those who called in, it seemed off to them as well. His idea was that cheating fulfilled the need one had that was making him not enjoy his marriage. Sometimes it allowed the cheater to get that desire fulfilled and out of his system and sometimes it moves the couple to talking about their problems.

I guess this is more of a rant at some points than anything, but doesn't that just seem selfish? I mean, I by no means proclaim to be the best husband, and I can't think of any marriage that is perfect, or even really good, 100% of the time, but what about wedding vows? Now that question was asked by a caller and the author of the book responded with, "How many people really even remember what they said in their wedding vows?" He does have at least one point right. I for one don't remember every single thing I said in my wedding vows, but I remember the basics: sickness, health, rich, poor, good and bad till death do us part. I don't know every single word of the constitution, the amendments or other laws, but I'm still going to follow them. I don't have to know every single word of something to know what the general meaning of what I promised. How does adultery stay to true to the promise made?

How is this not also the epitome of selfishness? I would assume that all spouses act selfishly at times. I know I have, and probably will again regretfully. When does that ever improve a marriage? I've never know it too in my situation or for anyone else. What does the non-cheating spouse get? The problems may get solved at that moment, but wouldn't many live in fear that if they ever become less than perfect their spouse will just find someone else to fulfill their needs? God calls for the wife to be submissive to her husband and his needs, but also calls the husband to do the same. Marriage is about serving the spouse and their needs, not my own.

Interestingly enough, though not surprising, when the author was asked about his wife ever cheating on him, he said that she hadn't, but didn't seem to happy with the idea of her doing so either.