Thursday, April 8, 2010

It's quiet...too quiet...

It's quiet in my house, and not in a good way. Ben has been gone for a whole 10 minutes maybe and it feels like it has been a lifetime. His grandma just came and picked him up to keep him for a few days. Kristen and I are both sick. I seem to be on the up and up (though to be honest I seemed to be on that trail a few days ago but clearly was not) but Kristen is just starting the trip down the trail of sickness that I've been taking. It started off with being a bit nauseous and weak, then an extremely sore throat developed and a lot of sinus pressure. Eventually the sore throat mostly passed, though it left a cough, and last night a fever (that I didn't know I even had) finally broke. Kristen seems to be at the weak and sore throat stage.

As hard as it was to decide, we realized that we just couldn't put Ben at risk by keeping him here. I passed this to Kristen so it could pass to him, and Kristen cannot take proper care of him in the condition she is anyway and neither can I. My mother offered to keep him for a few days and after a few minutes of thinking and trying to justify putting him at sickness risk, I asked her to come down and get him.

He's with her till Sunday, and it's already different. I'm just waiting to hear him cry from the back, as if his absence from the room is just him taking a nap. I'll miss him interrupting my writing of notes to be picked up and held or played with for a while. I'll miss his laughing. He doesn't giggle, he laughs. I'm going to miss him dipping his food in ketchup and then just eating the ketchup. I'll miss his bath time which he just loves. I'll even miss The Wiggles playing over and over and over and over.

I know it's for the best, but it isn't fun. I don't like it at all. I guess this is just part of being a parent though. After my mom drove off with Ben, Kristen looked at me and said, "He isn't going to understand" and that's true. He won't understand why mommy and daddy aren't there to kiss him good night or to play with him and tickle him, but being a parent is doing what you have to do even if the child doesn't always understand.

1 comment:

  1. So sorry you guys are feeling so bad. And it's just too cute how much you are missing Ben already. But don't worry about him too's not like you sent him off with a stranger. I bet he is going to have a great time and the best part is seeing his face light up when he gets back home :)